Friday, January 31, 2014

OK Chemo.... quit playing hard to get!

I guess it's about time for an update! It's been a good few weeks- my spirits have been pretty good and I've been staying busy with work, family, and friends. The bad news is that last Wednesday was supposed to be my chemo day for treatment # 7 but it had to get delayed again. I was really hoping this one would stay on track! They gave me a smaller dose of Carboplatin at chemo #6 which was supposed to help to keep me on schedule.  But apparently it still hit my bone marrow pretty hard and my platelet and white blood cell counts were low again. There is a white blood cell shot called Neupogen that I could take but my platelet counts weren't even high enough for me to get that shot. This is just so extremely frustrating! It's so weird that my counts are so low but I feel fine, and apparently there's nothing I can do but wait. The doctors said to be careful because I am at high risk for infection right now, but I haven't gotten sick lately even through all the crazy flu outbreaks in Dallas. (Knock on wood.) I have been working and working out lots in an effort to keep my energy level up and get into good shape before my surgery! We are now going to try for treatment on Monday. I have a lot of praying to do at bible study on Sunday night. :) Oh wait, it's the Super Bowl... OK I'll be praying during the Super Bowl!!!  If I get the treatment Monday I will be happy as it won't be TOO much more of a delay. I have set my wedding date for June 21, 2014. It was set on that date based on my initial schedule which would have me DONE with chemo NOW!!!! I was initially supposed to finish by the end of January. With all these delays I am getting nervous about the wedding date. After I finally finish these two rounds of chemo I will have to wait 4 weeks (I think) after that to have my mastectomy. Then I have to wait four weeks to start radiation, and radiation will last 5-6 weeks. I'd prefer not to be doing radiation or even finishing up radiation the week of my wedding. The radiation can cause burns and can make you tired. I already have enough to deal with... like not having my real hair or real boobs at the wedding...eeeek.... so I'd prefer to not be burned and tired too! Just a simple request! I don't care much about colors or flowers or centerpieces or cakes or food or anything else...... I just want to be healthy and happy and walk down the aisle to marry my best friend! I should know more after Monday but fingers crossed I get my treatment and can stay on track!  I will say that the wedding planning has been so fun and it's proven to be a very good distraction from all the other crap I'm dealing with. I'm getting so excited for the festivities to begin! #plateletprayers over the weekend are very much appreciated..... need to keep pumping that chemo through my body to make sure the cancer is getting killed. It's funny even as I write the word "cancer" it feels like I'm talking about something so foreign. My friend Abby told me a story about somebody who said to her "Oh you're the one whose friend has cancer" and I thought to myself..... "Oh no, Abby! Which friend? That's horrible!" And then quickly remembered that friend was me. YIKES. I still feel like this is some kind of horrific dream and I'm still constantly bewildered that all this has happened.

Now for an update on my always exciting hair adventures! I got some new hair today and that has helped my spirits. The last "system" was shedding soo bad and it was getting very thin. I couldn't really wear it down anymore.  I was actually asked to do the sideline reporting for the Stars games two days last week.. (Something I would LOVE to do full time so it's always an "audition" for me when I fill in) and of course I finally got the opportunity when my "hair" was looking it's worst and I barely had any eyebrows or eyelashes! I think it turned out alright, though. I tried and tried to put on fake eyelashes on my own and quickly destroyed three pair in about ten minutes. It's so hard! Going to keep working on it. I told Kelly earlier that I really think my disposition throughout all of this really has a lot to do with my current hair situation at the time. I feel like that may be a general rule for all of us ladies anyways- mine's just a bit more extreme! When my hair looks bad or fake I don't feel like myself and it's just a daily reminder that I have cancer. When it looks good and I feel cute I feel much better! I wish I was a scientist/doctor because whoever eventually comes up with a way to keep hair from falling out during chemo will be helping out so many women around the world more than they know! And they'll probably be crazy rich!  It has seriously been the very worst part of all of this. And I know it's going to be a LONG time before my real hair is as long as it was and as long as I'd like it to be. Keep getting those pixie cuts, celebs! Maybe we can make it cool :)

I'm off now to the Mavs game and have a nice relaxing weekend planned. I am having brunch tomorrow with a girl who I share many mutual friends with here in Dallas who was diagnosed at age 24. She's 28 or 29 now and cute and healthy and happy so I'm really looking forward to chatting with her about her experience. I really cherish and appreciate when people who have gone through this mess reach out to me- especially those who went through it in their twenties who can relate! The friendships I have made with those in my "cancer circle" have been a true blessing. Hopefully one day SOON breast cancer will be a thing of the past, but until then we have to stick together and help one another get through the rough times!  I will give an update next week and let you all know if I'm able to get my chemo on Monday! Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. XOXO
My newest "Do"... and eyelashes with the help from the nice folks at MAC Makeup counter!!



  1. Julie, you look just beautiful! Looks like you are winning :)

  2. You are beautiful just the way you are.