MY TWO (AND A HALF) YEAR OLD MIRACLE.
I have missed writing, missed this blog, missed the relationships this blog helped to maintain, and for all those reasons, I've decided to bring it back to life! Here I will hope to talk about life after cancer and all it entails. Since I've last been here.... a lot has happened.
In April, I hit three years cancer free. My hair has grown out, my life has returned to "normal....."(ish), I'm checking in with my oncologist every 6 months and of course keeping a close eye on things. I'm feeling good and so thankful for each and every day.
Now for the plot twist.
Two years ago, 14 months after my double mastectomy and being deemed "cancer free", I was blessed with a little miracle baby named Ryder Scott. It's so crazy how quickly I went from worrying every day about fighting for my life to giving everything I have into raising a new life. I thought I'd revisit this post from 2 and a half years ago to lend a little perspective to anybody who may be struggling with some of the same issues I faced.
" The discovery of this BRCA1 gene means that I'll have to have my ovaries removed eventually. The gene is connected directly to having a high risk of both breast cancer and ovarian cancer. As my doctor put it... my ovaries are now a "ticking time bomb" and there is a very high chance that I could get ovarian cancer as well. YAY! She said that I could probably wait about three years before having the hysterectomy so that gives me about a three year window to have kids, if I can in fact have kids. That's probably not going to be easy since the chemo destroys basically everything inside of you.... including your ovaries. I'm trying to be optimistic about it. I'm getting a shot of a drug called "Lupron" every three weeks that is supposed to help protect my ovaries so I can hopefully still have children. (It also has some lovely side effects such as hot flashes! Little future baby.. I love you so much I've brought on early menopause for you!) Those hot flashes are not joke. Ugh. So I've tried to find stats about conceiving after chemo and there's just not much out there... since most people who get this disease are at least 40 and have most likely had children already. I am researching all my options and will probably contact a fertility clinic to find out more about my specific situation and what I can do. It's funny- before cancer I was not on a fast track, or really any track to have children. I actually was planning to wait as long as I could so that I could focus on my marriage and career... and maybe I'd just get another cat to tide me over :) But now... after finding out that I may not be able to have kids of my own, I think about it all the time and it's something I want more than anything in the world."
Wow it's so crazy for me to read that now. Nine months after typing that post I was cancer free, married and pregnant. God has a crazy way of pulling things together and writing a script for your life that you could not even fathom to write yourself. I'm just so thankful for my precious surprise miracle. Now that he's here, I can't remember what life was like before him. Ryder is the light of my life, my biggest joy, and my best little friend. The kid is really something else. He's already perfected his slap shot and he's been able to make his dad dance more in these two years then I think he's ever danced in his whole life. Seriously, all this boy wants to do is dance and laugh, and he makes us all better for it. Thanks to him, I haven't thought about cancer and all the struggles I went through in two years outside of my checkups. Adjusting our life and becoming a mom hasn't been easy, in fact, I think I can say that being a mom has been tougher for me then fighting Cancer ever was. I've cried and felt lost and frustrated and clueless. But boy is it rewarding. I love this little guy more then he will ever know, and I'm so thankful I had the chance to become a mom.
Ryder Scott, you're a dream come true and I love you more than you'll ever know!