The waiting game

So my last chemo was a go! I have been done with chemo for a week now and it feels great. I mean.. I don't feel much different but it feels great to be done with that first (long) step! I think it was a total of 5 and a half months.  Now I am just in waiting mode... letting my body recover from the chemo and waiting for my blood counts to get back up before surgery which will be coming up very soon on Monday, March 31st. Rangers opening day! It'll be a far cry from eating hot dogs and drinking beer at the ballpark this year!

I'm really nervous for surgery. I know I will be OK and I just keep telling myself that they do these surgeries all the time. It's only my second surgery ever and my first was to put the chemo port in back in October. I've basically cleared my schedule for the month of April as I've heard the recovery takes quite a while. Kelly's hoping to get that Tuesday's road game off so he can be there with me for the surgery. It will be his first game off in about five years! Then he'll hopefully go to meet the team on the road. Of course, that week is one of the Stars longest trips of the season.... typical! But my mom is coming up to take care of my for a couple weeks and that will be nice. If anybody has any good movies or TV show recommendations, send them my way!! :) On the bright side, I bet Cranberry will be happy to have me to snuggle with for a month :)

I'll have my expanders put in at the time of surgery. I've heard that they are rather uncomfortable, especially when they fill them with fluid each week. I'll have drains basically hanging off of me for at least a week after the surgery. Fun, huh? Having the drains in will limit me to staying home that whole time. I'm already grossed out by the drains and I haven't even met them yet. Ugh.

I will find out the results from the pathology lab at an appointment with my oncologist on April 10th. They'll tell me if all the cancer is gone or if they still found some hanging around after they did the mastectomy. I FEEL like it's all gone. But who knows! I really really really hope so! If not, my doctor said they would most likely give me a pill to take every day of radiation. (Which is..... every day.) She said they have pretty much given me all the chemo drugs that they can give me besides this pill. But let's hope we don't have to worry about that! Prayers for a good report on April 10th!

My hair is starting to grow back.... which is nice since I only just finished chemo! It is about half an inch long and looks like it's growing back darker. Not cool, hair! I was hoping it would grow back the color it first grew in when I was a baby, really blonde! But no such luck. I'm still going to wear my "system" for a long time, until I feel comfortable going without it. And then I will hopefully get extensions once the hair is long enough. I actually went and met with an extension lady yesterday to see how soon I could get them. She said she could technically do them before my wedding but that she honestly thought my "system" looked better and was a better option. She couldn't believe how good it looked! That's what most people say when they see it and find out that it's not my hair. So I guess it looks pretty good to outsiders, which is good, but I still think about how much I miss my hair every single second of every single day. I'm really sad to be getting married without my hair. But I am really happy to be getting married, and that's what matters! Funny how my thoughts always come back to the hair.... it's just the very worst part!

I have definitely had my fair share of "why me" moments lately and it's still been tough. A lot of time has passed but I'm still in disbelief that this is my life. It's just so surreal. But I know I'm lucky to be doing as well as I am so far and I know things like this happen to people all of the time, and it doesn't make sense to them either. For example, I saw a story about a lady who lost her leg at the Boston Marathon and was starting to dance again. Now THAT's a big time "why me" situation! It's just not fair! We all need to just be so thankful for each and every day that we are here on this earth, live life to the fullest and especially, please be so thankful if you are happy and healthy! I hope to be back in that category soon. I've got the happy part down at least. :) This surgery is just the next step for me to get back to the healthy part.  I'll give another update after the surgery... maybe I'll have a guest writer blog to let you all know how everything goes! Until next time....... keep loving on your hair!!!

XOXO
Julie