On second thought....

On second thought... I'm quite glad that I wasn't cut open today! :0 I had a very nice day and enjoyed being healthy and conscious! It was funny, I kept thinking all day long, "I could be knocked out on a surgery table right now but instead I'm watching Ranger baseball at work!" or "I could be getting my boobs cut off right now but instead I'm in spin class!" It was a funny day.  I'm going to take advantage of the next week and enjoy being healthy and try to work out every single day. As long as I'm feeling up to it of course. I'm very sad about not being able to exercise for a few weeks after the surgery as it is often my favorite part of the day and of course I'm trying to get in great shape for that big day on June 21st! Also, when I'm alone and at home with nothing going on is when I get down about all of this... one of the best things for my mental state has been to keep on going to work, going out with my friends, going to Stars games and practices, and of course working out. I'm not going to be able to do any of those things for a while so I feel like it will be harder not to get down in the dumps. But hopefully I can avoid that! I'll get my blood drawn again in two days and will find out if my platelets have gone up. If they have then we will go forward with the surgery on April 7th. Fingers crossed! As of now, if I have surgery on April 7th and start radiation four weeks after, then I won't be finished until June 13th. My wedding is June 21st. So it's cutting it close already, and if my surgery is pushed back again I could be in trouble! Hoping for the best. I will keep y'all updated. Keep loving on your hair please, I miss mine every second and have had some random cries about it lately to be honest.  Oh, and GO STARS... our team has 8 regular season games left and they're one point out of the playoffs.... Kelly's on the road all week as they play 4 games in 6 days! Cranberry and I will be watching and cheering. Have a great week, everyone! I'll update on Wednesday. XOXO

Change of plans.... again!

Just wanted to give everybody an update that my surgery was pushed back a week. It will no longer be this Monday, it will be on April 7th. I went for a blood draw on Tuesday and my platelets were so low they wanted to be safe and push the surgery back instead of waiting to see if they go up. If my platelets are too low, my blood is really thin and I'd bleed too much during surgery and also won't heal as quickly. Neither of those things sound good! So I know they are making the right decision. But I was pretty bummed as I was all ready to go, had my schedule cleared, family had plans to come in town, etc. I want to keep this "journey" moving forward!  I went back yesterday and checked again, and they had gone DOWN, so now my fingers are crossed that they'll start going up a lot very soon! My next  check is on Wednesday. I thought I was finished with #plateletprayers but apparently my body just has still not recovered from the chemo drugs. So #plateletprayers are back on!! In the meantime... I'm going to try and make the most of it and enjoy my extra week before surgery!! Thanks so much for all the love and support and I'll keep everyone updated. :)

XO

Julie

The waiting game

So my last chemo was a go! I have been done with chemo for a week now and it feels great. I mean.. I don't feel much different but it feels great to be done with that first (long) step! I think it was a total of 5 and a half months.  Now I am just in waiting mode... letting my body recover from the chemo and waiting for my blood counts to get back up before surgery which will be coming up very soon on Monday, March 31st. Rangers opening day! It'll be a far cry from eating hot dogs and drinking beer at the ballpark this year!

I'm really nervous for surgery. I know I will be OK and I just keep telling myself that they do these surgeries all the time. It's only my second surgery ever and my first was to put the chemo port in back in October. I've basically cleared my schedule for the month of April as I've heard the recovery takes quite a while. Kelly's hoping to get that Tuesday's road game off so he can be there with me for the surgery. It will be his first game off in about five years! Then he'll hopefully go to meet the team on the road. Of course, that week is one of the Stars longest trips of the season.... typical! But my mom is coming up to take care of my for a couple weeks and that will be nice. If anybody has any good movies or TV show recommendations, send them my way!! :) On the bright side, I bet Cranberry will be happy to have me to snuggle with for a month :)

I'll have my expanders put in at the time of surgery. I've heard that they are rather uncomfortable, especially when they fill them with fluid each week. I'll have drains basically hanging off of me for at least a week after the surgery. Fun, huh? Having the drains in will limit me to staying home that whole time. I'm already grossed out by the drains and I haven't even met them yet. Ugh.

I will find out the results from the pathology lab at an appointment with my oncologist on April 10th. They'll tell me if all the cancer is gone or if they still found some hanging around after they did the mastectomy. I FEEL like it's all gone. But who knows! I really really really hope so! If not, my doctor said they would most likely give me a pill to take every day of radiation. (Which is..... every day.) She said they have pretty much given me all the chemo drugs that they can give me besides this pill. But let's hope we don't have to worry about that! Prayers for a good report on April 10th!

My hair is starting to grow back.... which is nice since I only just finished chemo! It is about half an inch long and looks like it's growing back darker. Not cool, hair! I was hoping it would grow back the color it first grew in when I was a baby, really blonde! But no such luck. I'm still going to wear my "system" for a long time, until I feel comfortable going without it. And then I will hopefully get extensions once the hair is long enough. I actually went and met with an extension lady yesterday to see how soon I could get them. She said she could technically do them before my wedding but that she honestly thought my "system" looked better and was a better option. She couldn't believe how good it looked! That's what most people say when they see it and find out that it's not my hair. So I guess it looks pretty good to outsiders, which is good, but I still think about how much I miss my hair every single second of every single day. I'm really sad to be getting married without my hair. But I am really happy to be getting married, and that's what matters! Funny how my thoughts always come back to the hair.... it's just the very worst part!

I have definitely had my fair share of "why me" moments lately and it's still been tough. A lot of time has passed but I'm still in disbelief that this is my life. It's just so surreal. But I know I'm lucky to be doing as well as I am so far and I know things like this happen to people all of the time, and it doesn't make sense to them either. For example, I saw a story about a lady who lost her leg at the Boston Marathon and was starting to dance again. Now THAT's a big time "why me" situation! It's just not fair! We all need to just be so thankful for each and every day that we are here on this earth, live life to the fullest and especially, please be so thankful if you are happy and healthy! I hope to be back in that category soon. I've got the happy part down at least. :) This surgery is just the next step for me to get back to the healthy part.  I'll give another update after the surgery... maybe I'll have a guest writer blog to let you all know how everything goes! Until next time....... keep loving on your hair!!!

XOXO
Julie

ONE.MORE.

TOMORROW IS MY LAST CHEMO!!! HOPEFULLY EVER!!!

I'm very excited to be almost done with the first stage of my treatment! It hasn't been horrible for me, but I'm ready to be one step closer to the end of this journey. Tomorrow I will get my blood drawn at 9AM and as long as my counts are good- which they should be- then I will get my last treatment. It is just going to be one drug, taxol and it should only take about an hour. It's also my mom's birthday so she'll be on hand and then we will have lots of celebrating to do tomorrow night!

I will say that I have been so happy with all of my treatment and the wonderful doctors and nurses that I have met at Baylor Hospital. I will miss them! I'll see my Oncologist one last time a week from tomorrow to check my blood counts one more time and see how everything is looking before surgery. Surgery is set for March 31st. I'm pretty nervous about it and not looking forward to being stuck in bed for 2-3 weeks after. Especially during the most exciting part of the hockey season and when the weather is turning pretty!! But gotta do what you gotta do I guess, and hopefully it won't be too terrible.

I've felt really good lately and been really busy with work. I've had some great opportunities come up to do some more pre and post game reporting for the Stars games in addition to producing and reporting for my show, Stars Insider.  Besides when I am at the hospital, I almost forget sometimes that I have the C word (I'm tired of saying it) and it has been great! I just want my normal life to go on and so far I've been able to do everything I'd normally be doing. (Just doing it all without my real hair which again has been the WORST part and really the only terrible part so far.)

So..... so far so good, and I'll give another update after my last chemo treatment!! Thank you for the continued love and prayers!! XO